It’s been quite a while you know…a while since the words have taken control…it’s been a while. It’s been a while since my heart poured itself onto a paper. Since I said what I really felt. It’s been quite a while since I felt. And maybe it was all a part of growing up. To feel joy, pain and then just lay. Mindlessly, unconsciously numb. A barrage of feelings all silenced. At a point where the only thing you are feeling is no feeling. No happiness. No sorrow. Just pure resignation.
You know how in a flood everything just mixes…the mud, the dirt and all the good stuff all just reduced to filthy worthless slush? And then in your head when you have a deluge of feelings…you stop feeling. The good, the bad. All the memories mixing to filth. Your mind a blank emotionless dump of worthless things.
Then you wait…you wait till the flood subsides. Get rid of the garbage and start afresh and anew. With new feelings…new energies…you start building everything that was broken. So it won’t be the same like it had been.
Am not the same girl you had once seen. The flood has passed and this is a new beginning. The wounds have healed. But the scars are still seen. Am not going to be the naïve, vulnerable girl you had seen. The flood has passed and this is a new beginning.
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